The Blog

02 Jul

Changing Other People

We all know that we can’t change other people. Right? And it is true. Ultimately. But you can affect so much more change than you think you can. Consider this quote: “The way you see people is the way you treat them, and the way you treat them is what they become.” Johann Wolfgang von

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22 Jun

The Power of Listening, and Simple Ways to Do it

Today, I want to share this video and this article with you.  The video is only 11 minutes long.  The article is short as well.  (I know you are busy!)  Recently I did a training on persuasive/collaborative communication.  Two different people sent me information from this woman.  These changes are very simple and will absolutely transform the

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07 Jun

Want Their Buy-In? Ask Questions!

More on the skill of enrollment: John Smith is an attorney. He meets George at a business mixer. George has some legal issues that John believes he can help with so they set a meeting. (While I use the attorney example, these principles apply for whatever business you are in.) The first pre-meeting question John

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01 Jun

But First, the Rapport

If you want something – anything – that involves another person (and when does it not?), you will need to engage in some level of enrollment.  See last week’s blog for the definition of “enrollment.”  ( We use the tool of enrollment every day. Sometimes we use it successfully; sometimes not so much. Often others

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24 May

The REALITY of Enrollment

A Specific Model for Enrollment – REALITY We have been talking about the concept of “enrollment” – communicating with others in a way that they feel heard and that generates cooperation, collaboration and ownership. You cannot enroll if you cannot see reality. You must clearly see the other person’s reality to enroll them in anything.

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15 May

Enrollment – The Art of Collaborative Communication

  “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” ~Dwight D. Eisenhower Over the next month, I am going to re-publish some of my older works on enrollment, leading up to my enrollment workshop on June 19 (below). Then I will resume our

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25 Apr

There is no Such Thing as Failure

There are a few “presuppositions” I learned when I was trained as a coach 10 years ago. A presupposition, in this context is a premise, a place to come from that supports what coaching is all about – change and growth. Recently I have been thinking about this one: There is no Failure. There is

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18 Apr

The Three Pillars of Relationship – and Why You Should Care

Some of you reading the “R” word will wonder why I address this as a business coach.  The better question is how could I not?  There is virtually nowhere that we operate in life and business that a relationship with another human does not come into play.  Indeed, there is very little we want in

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30 Mar

Communication – At Work (and elsewhere)

Here is my latest article in The Plaintiff magazine.  Of course, these communication skills apply in all kinds of professions and places – even at home.

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16 Mar

Creating Habits – Summary (Habit, Part 9)

(Note: Scroll to the end of the blog to learn about our communication training offer ending Monday.) We (some of my clients and I) have been writing blogs on habits, their nature, their formation, etc. for a few months now. Today will be the last blog on habits. At least for awhile. Today I will

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05 Mar

On Smoking (Habit, Part 8)

Another guest blog from a beloved client.  Enjoy! Quitting smoking is easy…I’ve done it a million times. Yeah. That was me. That nasty, smelly, unhealthy, awful habit was mine…on and off…for decades. I started smoking when I was very young, nearly single digits. I mean, everyone did it. My mom and my stepdad both smoked.

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27 Feb

How You See Yourself (Habit, part 7)

We have been talking about habits for awhile now. We have been addressing techniques for changing habits, building new habits, shedding old habits. Today I want to talk about the more internal reasons it can be challenging to change certain habits. Everything you do – and everything you think – is part of a new

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22 Feb

Habits That Hinder Progress (Habit, Part 6)

Below is a guest blog, from another attorney who I have the privilege of working with. Notice how insidious some habits are, how we might be doing them without even knowing it and how they get in the way of what we are after. Once you decide to change certain things, though, if you pay attention,

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14 Feb

The Cell Phone (Habit, Part 5)

In writing my habits blogs, I thought it most useful to talk to other people and ask them to tell the story of how they changed a habit.  I particularly love this one because it addresses something many people grapple with – the insidious nature of the cell phone.  As Ali describes below, the phone

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30 Jan

How do You Break a Habit (Habit, Part 4)

How do you break a habit? Trick question. Sort of. You don’t break habits. To break a habit means to focus on NOT doing something. That’s a difficult task indeed. “Stop smoking.” What? How? The statement makes me focus entirely on what? On smoking. That is not useful. What you focus on expands. It’s a

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09 Jan

I Hope You Make Mistakes

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something. So that’s my wish for you, and

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28 Dec

Closing Down the Year

“Start where you are Use what you have Do what you can” –Arthur Ashe ____________________________________ We are nearing 2018 and some of you are getting ready to say what you want for next year. New beginnings are so fresh, so hopeful. I really believe that you can create a new beginning any time you want.

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21 Dec

Your New Year’s Resolution – There’s a Better Way

Every year, the first week of January, you can’t find a parking spot at the gym. Every year by January 21, parking is no longer an issue. People have dropped off, gone back to “normal.” It’s so exciting to want change and declare it. I am a big fan of positive change. But change is

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