Category Archives: Communication

Want to learn to be an effective communicator?  This video says it all.  I know you see the problem.  I know it is crystal clear to you and not at all clear to them.  I know you want to help. But…and this is a very important but…in listening it is truly NOT about the nail.  If

Dealing with Communication Breakdowns Part IV:  Problem-Solve This is the final in a four-part series on clearing breakdowns in communication. If you have not read the prior three blog posts, you may want to start there: Communication Breakdowns, Part I Communication Breakdowns, Part II Communication Breakdowns, Part III Once you have managed your feelings and

Dealing with Communication Breakdowns Part III: The Process “The best way out is always through.” ~ Robert Frost Summary of the process: 1. Manage your emotions. 2. Know yourself. 3. Problem solve. Managing Emotion: The first step when you want to clear up a breakdown is to be sure you are in a “resourceful state.”

Dealing with Communication Breakdowns Part II:  What is a Communication Breakdown and How does it Arise? Our last blog post talked about the conversations we avoid, often not even knowing we are avoiding them.  Communications Breakdowns, Part I.  We are in the midst of a series on communication breakdowns, how to recognize them and how

Dealing With Communication Breakdowns Part I:  Communication and Fear One of the main things people come to coaching for is better communication.  They may have other results they desire, but it turns out most of the things we want are in some way predicated on communication. So when my client comes to me and says,

Today, I want to share this video and this article with you.  The video is only 11 minutes long.  The article is short as well.  (I know you are busy!)  Recently I did a training on persuasive/collaborative communication.  Two different people sent me information from this woman.  These changes are very simple and will absolutely transform the

Here is my latest article in The Plaintiff magazine.  Of course, these communication skills apply in all kinds of professions and places – even at home. http://www.plaintiffmagazine.com/item/how-to-talk-so-associates-understand-you

Misunderstandings:  how often do they occur? And what is the price you pay for them? Whose fault are those misunderstandings anyway? So often in communication people tend to blame the other person for a lack of understanding. And if they don’t blame the other person, then often they blame themselves. I wrote last week about the concept of

The other day, a friend of mine said, “Women communicate better than men.” It was an interesting comment so I asked her, “What do you mean?” She said, “Women tell you how they’re feeling, how their day went, what is going on in their lives.” I said, “Oh, you mean women talk more.” “Well, yes,”

COMMUNICATION –> RELATIONSHIPS –> RESULTS Why talk about communication? Why should we focus our attention here? Many people want to “improve communication” because they wish to improve relationships. But let’s look at why communication is so important – in business and elsewhere. In business we want to achieve certain results. A “result” is an outcome,

When I talk to people about “communication,” I often hear things like, “my communication is fine but he doesn’t listen.” Or “I am clear, but other people are not.” How do you know if communication is working or not working?  We’ve never been taught and so we may think everything is fine. From our upcoming

“Sawubona.” It’s an African Zulu greeting that means “I see you.” It has a long oral history and it means more than our traditional “hello.” It says, “I see your personality. I see your humanity. I see your dignity and respect.” In the African village context, where everyone knows one another, it’s an exceedingly powerful

I pulled out and dusted off a CD from a long time ago – Suzanne Vega’s “Solitude Standing.” Love the CD – took me back about 25 years. Shockingly, it was released in 1987. I was listening to Tom’s Diner. It is a beautiful and poetic song. It is a poem about a moment in

“The effectiveness of communication is not defined by the communication, but by the response.” –Milton Erickson What does this mean?  So often we think that if we are “being clear” everyone should understand.  We put together our communication in such a way that we feel we are doing a good job because of the nature

“The art of communication is the language of leadership.” –James Humes (Author and former presidential speech writer) Coming to Sacramento July 25, 2017: Discover the Secrets of Effective Communication Ever feel like other people are “speaking Greek”? Do other people misunderstand YOU? What would change if you learned to communicate effectively with different kinds of

“The meaning of your communication is the response that you get.”  (Coaching and NLP [neurolinguistic processing] presupposition.) A few days ago I called my sister, like I do, when I need someone to listen and to help me process events in my life.  I said to her, “I just need you to listen and maybe

“Sawubona.” It’s an African Zulu greeting that means “I see you.” It has a long oral history and it means more than our traditional “hello.” It says, “I see your personality. I see your humanity. I see your dignity and respect.” In the African village context, where everyone knows one another, it’s an exceedingly powerful

I pulled out and dusted off a CD from a long time ago – Suzanne Vega’s “Solitude Standing.” Love the CD – took me back about 25 years. Shockingly, it was released in 1987. I was listening to Tom’s Diner. It is a beautiful and poetic song. It is a poem about a moment in

I teach a class on Styles of Communication. I will write more on this in the next several blogs. Here though, is something to get you started: The styles I teach have four different communication types.  Here are two, clearly demonstrated.  They are opposite styles.  What can you see about each one?  And, though comical,

What gets in the way of your listening? Really listening. People want to be heard. We need to be heard. It is a part of the human experience. We don’t get it often, though. If that doesn’t convince you to spend some time learning how to listen, consider this: people won’t listen to you until