Listen to “Problems”

I have a client who is the General Manager for a mid-sized corporation.  Her direct reports are 15 division managers.  We were talking about how best to run her manager meetings.  During the conversation, she noted that her managers seem to want to make her happy.  As a result, in meetings, the conversations do not seem genuine because the managers either paint a bright picture for her, or are quiet when she asks how things are going.  She said to me, “I think they believe that I only want to hear a certain type of answer.”  I said, “Is there any chance you are giving the impression that you don’t want to hear the ‘problems’?”  She said “yes”.  “Why is that?”  She said, “If I hear the problems, then I have to fix them and that is a lot of work for me.”

We had been working with the REALITY model of enrollment and how to enroll her managers in doing their jobs well.  What she realized is that she had unconsciously been conveying to them that she did not want to hear any kind of problems.  But when she realized this she saw that she could not enroll them in helping her run the company well unless she listened to everything they had to say even if she didn’t really want to hear it.

Her learning, and I think it is pertinent for many company managers, is that when “problems” arise, the very first thing we must do is simply LISTEN.  Then reflect back what we hear.  Ask curious questions.  LISTEN again.  Do not try to solve people’s problems before you fully understand them.  And often, if you listen closely in this fashion, they will solve the problems themselves.  If not, you have the opportunity to enroll them in solving their problems.  When you see there is a problem, do not avoid it.  Show people you are eager to hear what they have to say.  And then really hear them.

About the Author

Cami McLaren

Cami McLaren

is the owner of McLaren Coaching. She has been coaching professionals and leaders since early 2008. She runs Transformative Coaching Essentials, a coach training program that produces first rate Professional Coaches and "Coach-Style Leaders." She coaches individually and works with organizations to improve communication, time management, productivity and ultimately bring greater results.

Get Our Newsletter
Recent Posts

Coach Highlight – Tim Stephenson

CM: Why did you enter TCE? And/or, what did you want to get out of it? TS: I entered TCE because I wanted to learn how to be with people the way my coach, Cami, was with me. I saw the power in that relationship...

Read More

Resilient

I am reading the book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength and Happiness by Rick Hanson (also the author of Buddha’s Brain). I found a section I wanted to share, because it articulated something so powerful to me in getting what...

Read More
Coach Highlight - MK Chavez

Coach Highlight – MK Chavez

CM: Why did you enter TCE? And/or, what did you want to get out of it? MK: I stepped into the TCE journey seeking the foundational skills of coaching because I had a transformative experience in coaching (as a client), and I wanted to bring...

Read More
Be committed, but not attached

Be committed, but not attached

A long time ago, I heard this quote that really messed with my brain. Though I cannot find the source of this exact quote, there are many similar Buddhist tenets. It has really helped me get what I want in my life, though! “Be committed,...

Read More

Share this Post

Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn
Email