Last night, I had a great meeting with several attorneys in Sacramento. We were discussing “Persuasive Communication: Getting others to do what you want them to do, because they want to.” I was teaching a tool I call “enrollment” and a model of enrollment called “REALITY.” I learned a lot from these attorneys last night and was so impressed by their dedication – coming out in the pouring down Sacramento rain. In honor of them, I want to post this excerpt from my book today:
“You cannot enroll if you cannot see reality. You must clearly see the other person’s reality to enroll them in anything. Take the example of “enrolling” my friend in going out for Chinese food: if I had seen my friend’s reality–that her son was sick, that she did not want to find a sitter, and did not want to leave the house–I would not have tried to convince her to go where I wanted to go. To do so ignores what she has said to me. I would have offered something that respected her reality at that moment.
You must understand REALITY if you are going to enroll someone in something, whether that is enrolling a client or customer into your business or enrolling your spouse or a friend in going out to dinner. This is a distinction from “selling,” where we often talk without understanding the other person’s reality.” (Coaching for Attorneys: Improving Productivity and Achieving Balance, p. 246.)