The Blog

12 Dec

The Importance of Knowing Your Destination

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat. “I don’t much care where—” said Alice. “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat. “—so long as I get SOMEWHERE,” Alice added as

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05 Dec

Beyond Goal Setting – The Power of Declaration

I always think, at this time of year, about new beginnings and about creation.  Intentional creation.  This is appropriate anytime really.  You can always intentionally create.  But for some reason our brains really like the first of the year.  So I am taking a break from my “Habits” blog series and going to talk about

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29 Nov

Identifying Habit (Habit, Part 2)

“Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.” –Warren Buffett In the next few weeks, we will be talking about habit – how to recognize it while the “chains of habit are light,” how to create new habits, let go of old habits, the nature of habit,

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20 Nov

Perspective Changes Everything

There are many ways to look at your world. You see what you look for. This simple secret is key to so much. It is the theory behind gratitude practice. I.e., if you spend time being grateful, you will see more of what you are grateful for. Turns out it was there all along, but

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16 Nov

The Power of Habit, Part I

I once heard someone say that everything we do – every day, all day – is either part of an old habit or part of a new habit. Last week, I posted this riddle: I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you

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09 Nov

Precrastination – Who’d a Thought?

Another interesting article – this one is about a concept I discuss frequently with my clients – the tendency to do that which is right in front of you, but does not yet need to be addressed, just to get it off your plate. This tends to be something we do at the expense of

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08 Nov

The Secret to Change

Below is a piece I discovered some time ago.  See what you think the answer might be.  Feel free to comment at the bottom.  I’ll come back with the answer next week: I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to

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02 Nov

Sing it From the Rooftop

In coaching there is this concept – that of acknowledgement. It means acknowledging that we have done something specific. Or not done something. It is meant to be a neutral term that takes the negative energy out of something we may consider a “failure.” “I acknowledge I did not arrive on time.” It then opens

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26 Oct

CANI – Making Life (Business and all of it) Better

I was reading a book this morning that talked about the human aversion to change. It said that even if you are in a highly uncomfortable and/or unpleasant place in your life, you may very well resist making it better. Humans are drawn to the familiar – even if the familiar is painful and bad.

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03 Oct

Avoiding Communication Misunderstandings

Misunderstandings:  how often do they occur? And what is the price you pay for them? Whose fault are those misunderstandings anyway? So often in communication people tend to blame the other person for a lack of understanding. And if they don’t blame the other person, then often they blame themselves. I wrote last week about the concept of

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28 Sep

Communication is a System

The other day, a friend of mine said, “Women communicate better than men.” It was an interesting comment so I asked her, “What do you mean?” She said, “Women tell you how they’re feeling, how their day went, what is going on in their lives.” I said, “Oh, you mean women talk more.” “Well, yes,”

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25 Sep

Everything you Want Comes Back to Communication

COMMUNICATION –> RELATIONSHIPS –> RESULTS Why talk about communication? Why should we focus our attention here? Many people want to “improve communication” because they wish to improve relationships. But let’s look at why communication is so important – in business and elsewhere. In business we want to achieve certain results. A “result” is an outcome,

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19 Sep

How Can You Tell if Communication is Working?

When I talk to people about “communication,” I often hear things like, “my communication is fine but he doesn’t listen.” Or “I am clear, but other people are not.” How do you know if communication is working or not working?  We’ve never been taught and so we may think everything is fine. From our upcoming

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15 Sep

What Listening Can do for Your Business

“Sawubona.” It’s an African Zulu greeting that means “I see you.” It has a long oral history and it means more than our traditional “hello.” It says, “I see your personality. I see your humanity. I see your dignity and respect.” In the African village context, where everyone knows one another, it’s an exceedingly powerful

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08 Sep

The Main Reason we Don’t Listen

I pulled out and dusted off a CD from a long time ago – Suzanne Vega’s “Solitude Standing.” Love the CD – took me back about 25 years. Shockingly, it was released in 1987. I was listening to Tom’s Diner. It is a beautiful and poetic song. It is a poem about a moment in

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23 Aug

The Voice, In Sum

“Change the voices in your head Make them like you instead.” –Pink, from “F**king Perfect” For the last couple months, I have been writing on this interesting topic.  I could write so much more, but let’s stop here and summarize what we have learned: The Voice in your head No matter what you want, in

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10 Aug

“I Can’t” (The Voice, Part 9)

In spin class yesterday, I heard this: “You can do so much more than you give yourself credit for.” (Or something like that.  I mean the music is loud and I am exhausted.) But I got to thinking.  (Because it’s easier than focusing on pedaling) and I thought, you know it’s true that we don’t

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03 Aug

My Eeyore Voice (The Voice, Part 8)

by Allison Post Harris What Cami calls “The Voice”—cue the vampire music—other people have labeled “gremlin” or “saboteur.” Regardless of what you call it, this Voice has always been there for me when I least needed it. Before I divorced my ex-husband, my Voice said “you should stay married for your toddlers. You should be

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17 Jul

Styles of Communication…and a Quote

“The effectiveness of communication is not defined by the communication, but by the response.” –Milton Erickson What does this mean?  So often we think that if we are “being clear” everyone should understand.  We put together our communication in such a way that we feel we are doing a good job because of the nature

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