The Blog

03 Oct

Avoiding Communication Misunderstandings

Misunderstandings:  how often do they occur? And what is the price you pay for them? Whose fault are those misunderstandings anyway? So often in communication people tend to blame the other person for a lack of understanding. And if they don’t blame the other person, then often they blame themselves. I wrote last week about the concept of

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28 Sep

Communication is a System

The other day, a friend of mine said, “Women communicate better than men.” It was an interesting comment so I asked her, “What do you mean?” She said, “Women tell you how they’re feeling, how their day went, what is going on in their lives.” I said, “Oh, you mean women talk more.” “Well, yes,”

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25 Sep

Everything you Want Comes Back to Communication

COMMUNICATION –> RELATIONSHIPS –> RESULTS Why talk about communication? Why should we focus our attention here? Many people want to “improve communication” because they wish to improve relationships. But let’s look at why communication is so important – in business and elsewhere. In business we want to achieve certain results. A “result” is an outcome,

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19 Sep

How Can You Tell if Communication is Working?

When I talk to people about “communication,” I often hear things like, “my communication is fine but he doesn’t listen.” Or “I am clear, but other people are not.” How do you know if communication is working or not working?  We’ve never been taught and so we may think everything is fine. From our upcoming

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15 Sep

What Listening Can do for Your Business

“Sawubona.” It’s an African Zulu greeting that means “I see you.” It has a long oral history and it means more than our traditional “hello.” It says, “I see your personality. I see your humanity. I see your dignity and respect.” In the African village context, where everyone knows one another, it’s an exceedingly powerful

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08 Sep

The Main Reason we Don’t Listen

I pulled out and dusted off a CD from a long time ago – Suzanne Vega’s “Solitude Standing.” Love the CD – took me back about 25 years. Shockingly, it was released in 1987. I was listening to Tom’s Diner. It is a beautiful and poetic song. It is a poem about a moment in

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23 Aug

The Voice, In Sum

“Change the voices in your head Make them like you instead.” –Pink, from “F**king Perfect” For the last couple months, I have been writing on this interesting topic.  I could write so much more, but let’s stop here and summarize what we have learned: The Voice in your head No matter what you want, in

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10 Aug

“I Can’t” (The Voice, Part 9)

In spin class yesterday, I heard this: “You can do so much more than you give yourself credit for.” (Or something like that.  I mean the music is loud and I am exhausted.) But I got to thinking.  (Because it’s easier than focusing on pedaling) and I thought, you know it’s true that we don’t

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03 Aug

My Eeyore Voice (The Voice, Part 8)

by Allison Post Harris What Cami calls “The Voice”—cue the vampire music—other people have labeled “gremlin” or “saboteur.” Regardless of what you call it, this Voice has always been there for me when I least needed it. Before I divorced my ex-husband, my Voice said “you should stay married for your toddlers. You should be

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17 Jul

Styles of Communication…and a Quote

“The effectiveness of communication is not defined by the communication, but by the response.” –Milton Erickson What does this mean?  So often we think that if we are “being clear” everyone should understand.  We put together our communication in such a way that we feel we are doing a good job because of the nature

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12 Jul

Jump in. Get Messy. (The Voice, Part 7)

The Voice. That stupid, wrong, incessant Voice. The one that tells me I’m not good enough, or smart enough, or talented enough. The one that tells me I’m not enough of this and I’m too much of that. I can never win with that one. And, the thing is, she’s wrong. She’s always wrong. I

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05 Jul

The Persistent Nature of That Sabotaging Voice (The Voice, Part 6)

Another blog post from my favorite writer, comfort zone stretcher and personal growth guru–my mom! CELEBRATING 79 AND MY “LITTLE VOICE” I guess I always thought my little voice would disappear as I got older. Not so! I’m here to tell you that at age 79, my little voice is alive and well and LOUD!

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27 Jun

“Not Very Smart” (The Voice, Part 5)

Yesterday, I returned from a week on Maui. I walked on the beach with my mom every morning and we talked about the Voice. We talked about where it comes from and what it says. I told her I learned that my voice likes to say, “That was stupid.” Or “that is stupid.” Or “that’s

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12 Jun

Does it Motivate You? (The Voice, Part 4)

We have been talking about the negative and mean voice that you have inside your head. The one that says, “You are not ___.” “You cannot ____.” “You have to do more or you will lose your job.” “You have to lose weight or people won’t like you.” I believe all behavior has a purpose

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07 Jun

Comfortable Being Uncomfortable (The Voice, Part 3)

Everything you want, that you do not already have, is outside your comfort zone. How do I know? Because if it was comfortable, you would have it already. I want to lose weight I want better communication with my spouse I want to quit my job I want a raise I want to have a

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01 Jun

The Language of Leadership – Your Quote of the Week

“The art of communication is the language of leadership.” –James Humes (Author and former presidential speech writer) Coming to Sacramento July 25, 2017: Discover the Secrets of Effective Communication Ever feel like other people are “speaking Greek”? Do other people misunderstand YOU? What would change if you learned to communicate effectively with different kinds of

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24 May

The Ways We Sabotage Ourselves (The Voice, Part 2)

I wrote last week about that sabotaging voice inside your head. I attached a blog post by Cheryl Strayed (Dear Sugar) about a woman who was afraid she would get cancer because her parents had cancer. The story in her head was so clear that she decided not to have children because she did not want

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15 May

The Voice in Your Head

Here is a topic I talk to my all of my clients about. And yes, this is business coaching. This is a secret known to coaches and others who work with people who want to accomplish something. When we want to accomplish something – in business or elsewhere – we often get stopped or stuck.

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08 May

Mass Exodus – The Downside of Rapport

Have you ever noticed you could be in a large room full of people all participating in the same training, all raising their hands to participate, all laughing at the same time, and then one person gets up to go to the bathroom. And then another person gets up to go to the bathroom. And

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